SAHM woes

Posted by tyan (Singapore, Singapore) on 30 April 2007 in Miscellaneous.

If you thought the life of a stay at home mom(SAHM) is a bed of roses,think again.

It took me a year to decide to stay at home.I enjoyed my job a lot,in fact i love it.I enjoy a good relationship with colleagues,students,i get a good sum of monees into my bank account every month.Though i still had to take care of housework and Caleb after work,i had adult interaction with colleagues,chill out sometimes after lessons....even if i felt alone as a mother then,it was not so acute as i had teaching and conversations to take my mind off things.

I get quite upset when people tell me they "envy" me for staying at home.I believe they don't know what the life of a SAHM entails.Some people think SAHM means "tai tai" life which is far from reality,at least not for me.

Imagine what it is like to be:

Alone whole day with a nursing babe and clingy toddler hanging to your feet as if for dear life.

Alone whole day with toddler chanting,"Mummy,mummy,mummy".

Its like putting out bush fire,you pacify the baby,then the toddler starts crying for your attention,then you pacify the toddler,the baby starts howling again.

Soiled 6x2pax diapers everyday.

Stains all over the floor.Clean it,becomes dirty,clean it,becomes dirty....

No holidays,no perks,no pay.

No performance bonus for a job well done.

Working hours:24/7

If your kid turns out fine,people tell you,"You are so lucky!"

If your kid don't turn out fine/falls sick,people tell you,"You should wear a mask when you fall sick/why you never wash your hands?cause him diarrhoea...you never teach him this or that ah?!?"

So whatever good comes from luck,and whatever bad comes from the mother.

No recognition from society/government.Check out the almost-nil benefits for stay at home parents.[They are considered unemployed and thus an economic liability...remember??]Compare Germany,France...

Disapproval-"You mean you don't work?Your poor husband!"

No short term benefits.

Long term benefits not guaranteed.

No respect from society."What do you do?""I'm a home maker""A what?""Home what?""Aiya,housewife,say housewife la.What homemaker?"

But then again,not everything can be measured in dollars and cents.The best things in life are often hard earned.*psycho psycho*

People can think whatever they want for all i care.

But if u ask me whether i regret my decision,my answer is no.No regrets for letting go of recognition and applause of men so that i can nurture my children.This is a season in life and once past,it will never return.So while i'm at it,why not enjoy the privilege that God has given so graciously to us?

But then again,if you have a friend who is a SAHM,refrain from calling her "housewife",she is not married to a house.

Try some words of encouragement?Like "I think you are doing a good job of bringing up your kid","I think what you are doing is very important"..etc.It will go a long way in boosting your friend's morale and I am sure she will appreciate you for it.:)