Tyan's Photoblog
My new wardrobe-Tribute to Husband
Posted by tyan (Singapore, Singapore) on 16 May 2007 in Miscellaneous.
I think there is a better way to make these clothes look nicer and more attractive in the picture but not in the mood today after being down with flu for 2 days.
You know this thing about falling sick,it never used to bug me till now that i am a mother of 2,with no help.You get the rude shock that you are not immortal and impregnable by diseases.Those few days i fell sick i realised i don't wear a cape and my underwear outside[for those who din get the joke,superwoman la].Its really irritating too that everything in the house that is dependent on the mother to complete is in a complete mess,but then again,i am thankful for such an episode because it caused me to see that i am finite,and i begin to give thanks for the breath i have each day,knowing that i cannot take it for granted.
I was also doubly blessed that husband had a day off from school on tueday and i could have a 4-hour nap[the longest i ever had the past 2 years] while he cared for ian.
Its a bit weird to wear my working clothes to grocery shopping and to the park so for my mother's day gift,husband shopped with me for a few pieces of new tops and bottoms.Hopefully these will last me for the next few years that i stay at home..haha!
Another reflection from the shopping..There was this little "playhouse" at the Giordano outlet we were at and Caleb was playing happily with another little girl when a slightly older boy came and started pushing both the girl and Caleb away,attempting to have the whole house all to himself.He made the little girl cry and kept calling Caleb "stupid".Caleb as usual,got abdicated and watched from a corner.
You know this thing about maternal instinct.The moment i heard him hurl abuse at my son,i was ready to wring his neck and give him a good spanking.I am the non-confrontational type but i gave that boy a good scolding.Too bad his parents were nowhere to be seen,though i had hoped his parents were around to hear what i said to him.He was just running round the mall like a headless fly.Where are his parents?Why are they not around to discipline his child who is creating a havoc and making other children cry?
Come to think of it,when i was teaching,the parents of the 'bully' kids in my classes were also nowhere to be found.They tell you not to call them "unneccessarily".
Another thought:It has been a few incidents when Caleb had been bullied.What should i do?should i teach him to learn how to fend for himself so he wont always be bullied?Without making him into a bully himself?What goes through his mind when he gets bullied each time?That i should hit another back so i get what i want?Should i just let others bully him like that without retaliating?What values would i be imparting if i do that?Now you know parenting is really an awesome task.
Shireen from Singapore
Bully them back! No lah, just joking... I guess to see what the bible says on this...
16 May 2007 12:17pm
yunhann from Singapore
Not easy being a mummy... haha... good luck.. but i think caleb should show that headless fly that he's no pushover... hehe
16 May 2007 1:56pm
@yunhann: You know,i was observing that 'headless fly'boy.I was trying to see who his parents were.It turned out though he was at Giordano,his parents were not there.He ran in and out of the shop.Then when i got out of the shop i saw he ran to the parade square where they were having some sale.Think his parents are there,but apparently cant be bothered with him as i saw him run back to giordano alone.
From another perspective,he is a very pitiful boy.Nobody seemed to care about him.So crowded and nobody seemed to care he could get lost.Maybe thats' why he behaved the way he did.
Kairospix from Singapore
parenting isn't easy - so i take my hat off to those who do their best to birng up thie child right and not conveniently shrink from their decsion to have a child
the very fact you struggle with these questions shows you want to do the right thing and raise your children right - so i'm glad ya don;t belong ot the "bo-chap" parent group :)
i have to agree with Shireen that going back to His Word is important
here i would like to suggest a verse from the Bible which i came to know of, from of all places, during a movie starring Denzel Washington (Man on Fire), which might give you some idea how you might want to teach Caleb to handle such situations in the future...
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Rom 12:21
:)
16 May 2007 2:40pm
@Kairospix: thanks alot for your encouragement and very kind words..I think its a very thin line between overcoming evil with good and knowing how to tell others what they do hurts.Like should Caleb assert himself or just let the bully do what he wants to him?Where does one draw the line?
Sometimes its heart wrenching.We tell Caleb never to hurt others nor retaliate when others bully him,but we see him being bullied by others and my heart really aches.You cant stop others from not teaching their children well.The world goes on.It affects your kid but you cant stop others from not caring for their child,what they will grow up into.And meanwhile,the meek continues to 'suffer' from the ripple effects of the 'evil' that others do.Its a dilemma isn't it?
btw i love the Man on Fire show.So cool.
Nancy from Singapore
If it happened to Robyn, I would tell the boy that he shouldn't say such things and must share. At the same time, I'll encourage Robyn to con't playing at the 'playhouse' and telling her that she must stand up for herself (be assertive and aggressive if the need arises) and not be bullied. Right now, she gets her training at home when Marcus attempts to snatch toys from her. She would fuss and look to us for help. I usually dun intervene unless Marcus is pulling her hair or she's in a situation where she might get hurt.
A child's behaviour tells plenty about the family's upbringing...perhaps, the word 'stupid' is used very loosely in his family.
17 May 2007 1:07am
@Nancy: thanks for your advice...ya i think i should have told that boy to learn to share.i actually scolded him for snatching caleb's lego and told him there were many other pieces of lego nobody was holding on to.Looks like marcus is becoming a bully!haha..maybe by default size.I also thought so,i even speculated whether his parents call that boy stupid..thats why he was like that.You know i saw another boy one day running down the stairs.Actually he was more like 'flying' off,very dangerous and his dad told him not to do that.Guess what that boy said?he shouted "f**k off!" i was shocked.how a boy his age could use such language already.on his dad somemore.this is a challenging world we live in.
spots from Singapore, Singapore
wow... there are all kinds of kids in this world huh. i sppose kids who are not supervised / guided by their parents enough wld tend to "run loose" and not hv manners. Kids also do model their parents, and/or learn from what they see on TV/movies...
Having said that, I also believe that kids are naturally selfish and no one needs to teach them how to push, shove, bully. I've noticed that older kids like to bully younger kids cos the younger kids are smaller in size. I'm not saying that it's natural and therefore we shd ignore / excuse this behaviour. I'm jus saying part of it is natural.
Yea, I don't really look forward to when my 2 boys grow older. There are jus so many influences out there and kids who are older do tend to play rougher, shout at each other, push & shove, get into fights and be jus down right mean to each other. They learn from their peers, TV, everybody... one of my boys is now at the 'innocent' toddler age where if they do something mean, it's probably cos they don't know any better. But there is a lot more guidance & shaping needed when he gets a bit bigger... *sigh*
17 May 2007 3:47pm
@spots: sigh...sometimes i wish i can protect them from the world's influences forever..but thats just not realistic..sigh
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