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Ian at birth

Posted by tyan (Singapore, Singapore) on 7 November 2007 in People & Portraits.

I was saying that my camera's LCD CRACKED and i cannot see a preview of the pictures i take.I have to look through the viewfinder and i only know how the pictures turn out when i download them to the computer. I'll have to get it repaired and that'll take a week or two.

Meanwhile i will take you on a trip down memory lane abt some of the things that happened before i became an avid p/blogger this year,after Ian's arrival.So they'll be old photos.Bear with me while i get the camera LCD fixed:)
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Before i bore you to death,this will be the last of the walking down memory lane series.

A lot has happened in our lives and there are a lot we give thanks for.

I was a full time working mom after Caleb came. We put him with the nanny who lives near my school and hub sends Caleb,then me to work every morning.

I taught in a high school.I enjoyed what i was doing,the daily interaction with my students.I was not so ready when i realised Ian was going to come and those 9 months were quite tumultous,in every way.

I was torn between the 2.I was getting a lot of recognition at work,i won a national award for some lesson plan i did,i was voted the most popular subject teacher in a survey done by students,but Ian came along and we knew the nanny was becoming the greater influence in Caleb's life,by virtue of the fact that she was spending more time with him. But we wanted to nurture the boys in our ways and thus our decision for me to stay home.

The main struggle was that i may never get that recognition,that applause if i ever do go back to work.

Last week,i put up an advertisement on the papers for tuition and i got many calls, but i didnt manage to clinch a deal,maybe they found my charges too high,or there is just too much competition out there,or the parents actually want the tutor to travel to their place.I am trying to strike a delicate balance between giving tuition to make ends meet and got giving so much tuition such that it defeats the purpose of me staying home to nurture the little guys.

i felt a bit discouraged because sticking to our beliefs abt having a parent stay home for the kids have so far met with lots of opposition,disapproval and criticisms.And while my current vocation of staying home really renders encouragement and cheering on,more than ever before,i have never met so much disapproval and criticisms until now. Thejourney for me has been lonely, helpless, discouraging and 'sanity-threatening'.

But i thought,motherhood and the boys' childhood will be but once and never return.Applause and approval from man will be something of the past i give thanks for but the kids'--their love,their laughter,the time spent with them,their need for a consistent primary caregiver and love--it is a season gone once missed.

So here we are today.Still plowing and clinging on to our beliefs,and hoping that we might be rewarded one day.

My good and faithful servant.

BTW,Ian Tang En Yee was born. Both his names mean God is gracious.
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Canon IXUS 40
1/8 second
F/3.5
9 mm